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Rafe’s Tales - Struggle to Live

11

That's all we can do. One of Rafe’s tales.

#Rafe
Fiction

9 min read

Published: 19 Sep 2020

PUBLIC
4:59 PM
Joe
Joe
oi
Joe
Joe
have u finished my homework yet
Tobias
Tobias
no
Joe
Joe
hurry it up dumbass
Joe
Joe
i need it by tomorrow
Tobias
Tobias
k
...
5:32 PM
Liberty
Liberty
heeeey tobi wanna get some ice cream??
Tobias
Tobias
i can't
Tobias
Tobias
i got to finish ms pringle's hw
Liberty
Liberty
uh
Liberty
Liberty
tobi
Liberty
Liberty
we finished that together in the library today?...
Tobias
Tobias
we
Tobias
Tobias
oh
Liberty
Liberty
hey
Liberty
Liberty
is everything good?
Tobias
Tobias
yes
Tobias
Tobias
i just got them mixed up
Tobias
Tobias
i have a lot of hw today
Tobias
Tobias
sorry
Liberty
Liberty
oh its fine!
Liberty
Liberty
want me to come over?
Tobias
Tobias
it's ok
Tobias
Tobias
i'll see you tomorrow at school
Liberty
Liberty
ok
Liberty
Liberty
see you!
Liberty
Liberty
and you know you can tell me anything, right?
Tobias
Tobias
yes
Tobias
Tobias
i know
Liberty
Liberty
ok
Liberty
Liberty
just making sure
Liberty
Liberty
see ya
Tobias
Tobias
bye
...
11:48 PM
Tobias
Tobias
i finished your hw
Joe
Joe
finally
Joe
Joe
next time get it done earlier
Tobias
Tobias
sorry
Tobias
Tobias
i have a lot of hw as well
Joe
Joe
i don't care how much hw u have as long as u finish mine
Joe
Joe
ur a genius, figure it out
Joe
Joe
see u tomorrow after school, punk
Tobias
Tobias
ok
...
11:52 PM
Tobias
Tobias
liberty
Tobias
Tobias
are you awake
Tobias
Tobias
you're not
Tobias
Tobias
i'm sorry
Tobias
Tobias
i don't think i can do it anymore
Tobias
Tobias
i just want to thank you for being my friend
Tobias
Tobias
i'm running away tomorrow morning
Tobias
Tobias
don't look for me
...
...
...
0:00
Rafe
Rafe
How sad.
Tobias
Tobias
who is this?
Rafe
Rafe
Are you on your phone, Tobias?
Tobias
Tobias
what sort of question is that?
Rafe
Rafe
But that's not the point, Tobias.
Rafe
Rafe
We are going to talk about you right now.
Tobias
Tobias
no we're not, you creep
Tobias
Tobias
bye
Rafe
Rafe
You can't leave this "chat room" simulation until we're done talking.
Rafe
Rafe
And you can't put your "phone" down because your entity is locked within your "phone" right now.
Rafe
Rafe
Responding to me is all you can do.
Tobias
Tobias
what is this?
Tobias
Tobias
why can't i leave?
Tobias
Tobias
this is my phone. i'm supposed to be able to put it down.
Rafe
Rafe
It's as I said. Are you even holding your phone?
Rafe
Rafe
Or is all this a dream composed by me, of you holding your phone?
Tobias
Tobias
stop it
Tobias
Tobias
what do you want?
Rafe
Rafe
I don't want anything, Tobias.
Rafe
Rafe
But what about you?
Rafe
Rafe
I know you're suffering from bullying.
Rafe
Rafe
You tell your friend that you ran away when you're actually going to commit suicide.
Rafe
Rafe
Jumping off a bridge is quick and easy, in your opinion.
Tobias
Tobias
how do you know that?
Rafe
Rafe
Do you think you can stand the fear, Tobias?
Rafe
Rafe
The free fall you experience while falling to your death is nothing like a roller coaster ride.
Rafe
Rafe
Sometimes it's so fast you don't even get a chance to close your eyes.
Tobias
Tobias
why are you telling me this?
Rafe
Rafe
Because in the underworld, suicide is considered a crime.
Rafe
Rafe
It is murder, after all.
Rafe
Rafe
Murdering yourself is still a murder.
Rafe
Rafe
You are a person, aren't you?
Rafe
Rafe
Or did the constant bullying finally make you feel otherwise?
Tobias
Tobias
who are you?
Rafe
Rafe
Wrong question, Tobias.
Rafe
Rafe
Stop focusing on me to distract yourself from your own mess.
Tobias
Tobias
i'm not
Tobias
Tobias
i'm literally unable to stop talking to you
Tobias
Tobias
i think i deserve to know who you are and how you are doing this
Rafe
Rafe
And you finally think you deserve something?
Rafe
Rafe
When moments ago all you wanted to do was to waste your life?
Tobias
Tobias
are you the reaper?
Rafe
Rafe
I am a guide.
Rafe
Rafe
I cannot interfere with your lives, only offer advice.
Rafe
Rafe
In the end, listening to me and how you interpret my words is your choice.
Rafe
Rafe
I could be your savior or your downfall.
Tobias
Tobias
i don't understand
Rafe
Rafe
You don't need to understand.
Rafe
Rafe
It is just my answer to your question.
Rafe
Rafe
Enough distractions, Tobias.
Rafe
Rafe
Why are you so desperately trying to distract me from talking about you?
Tobias
Tobias
i don't know
Rafe
Rafe
You do know.
Rafe
Rafe
Because you're a coward, Tobias.
Rafe
Rafe
You're so afriad of your current situation, so desperate for an escape, you're not even going to work to solve your problems.
Rafe
Rafe
Escape always seems to be the simplest solution, but it isn't a solution at all.
Rafe
Rafe
It's just a cowardly, self-inflicted form of defeat and surrender.
Rafe
Rafe
Is death what you really want? If that is the case, I can grant you death right now, clean and quick.
Rafe
Rafe
You're not answering. So you don't want it?
Rafe
Rafe
Or maybe what you want is someone else's death.
Rafe
Rafe
His death?
Tobias
Tobias
no
Rafe
Rafe
I know you thought about it.
Tobias
Tobias
it's a spur of the moment hate, it doesn't mean i actually want him to die
Tobias
Tobias
i don't want to kill anyone
Rafe
Rafe
Then why do you want to kill yourself?
Rafe
Rafe
Do you not count as one of those "anyone?"
Tobias
Tobias
he's just a stupid bully
Rafe
Rafe
A stupid bully is still a bully.
Rafe
Rafe
You're not the first to suffer from his hands. You know that.
Rafe
Rafe
But really, if he's just a "stupid bully," why are you willing to die for him?
Rafe
Rafe
Why are you willing to break your own morals, to degrade yourself to the point you no longer consider yourself human, just because of someone like him?
Tobias
Tobias
i am human
Rafe
Rafe
Then you will kill a human being by killing yourself.
Tobias
Tobias
stop twisting my words
Rafe
Rafe
Am I twisting your words?
Rafe
Rafe
Or am I stating the truth?
Tobias
Tobias
stop it
Tobias
Tobias
i'm not dying for him
Tobias
Tobias
i'm not dying for anyone
Tobias
Tobias
i don't understand why you're criticizing me
Tobias
Tobias
i'm tired
Tobias
Tobias
i'm tired of suffering under joe's hand every day
Tobias
Tobias
i'm tired of getting beat around by him, forced to do his work for him
Tobias
Tobias
and getting beaten by him every day after school because i'm such a wimp and unable to stand up for myself
Tobias
Tobias
what the hell did i ever do to him?
Tobias
Tobias
my best friend's worried sick over me and i can't tell her what's wrong because i'm afraid he'll beat her up too once he finds out
Rafe
Rafe
And you think dying will solve everything?
Rafe
Rafe
You think it'll solve your pain.
Rafe
Rafe
But like I said, intentional death is just an escape, not a solution.
Rafe
Rafe
And what about your friend?
Rafe
Rafe
Liberty.
Tobias
Tobias
leave her alone
Rafe
Rafe
How do you think she will feel after you disappear?
Rafe
Rafe
Do you think she can ever forget her best friend, who left her with nothing but eight text messages from the middle of the night?
Rafe
Rafe
And do you really think not telling her that you actually jumped off a bridge would solve that problem?
Rafe
Rafe
Bodies can be found.
Rafe
Rafe
Can you see her face, when she sees your body in that sad little coffin, waiting to be buried?
Tobias
Tobias
stop it
Rafe
Rafe
Say your body is never found.
Rafe
Rafe
That won't make it better for her, Tobias.
Rafe
Rafe
She doesn't know where you are, doesn't know where you'll go.
Rafe
Rafe
She'll always have a small hope that you're alive, and the truth would only be all too different from that.
Rafe
Rafe
She'll live her whole life without forgetting her best friend in high school that went missing. Your name might have been lost to time, but she'll never forget YOU.
Rafe
Rafe
And sometimes, missing someone can be even worse than mourning someone.
Tobias
Tobias
then what do i do?
Rafe
Rafe
Struggle to live, Tobias.
Rafe
Rafe
That's all you can do.
Rafe
Rafe
Because some day you might find that life is worth living for after all.
Tobias
Tobias
but i'm so tired
Rafe
Rafe
Would you believe me, some mysterious entity that has trapped you in a "chat room," if I tell you that life is worth it?
Rafe
Rafe
Because you can find so much more in it, other than suffering?
Rafe
Rafe
Ah, yes. You would believe me. Because you already have someone worth living for.
Rafe
Rafe
Don't you?
Tobias
Tobias
do i?
Tobias
Tobias
i don't have friends at school
Tobias
Tobias
my parents are so tired from working all the time
Tobias
Tobias
i feel like if i disappear, no one would notice
Rafe
Rafe
Nothing exists without influencing the world, Tobias.
Rafe
Rafe
If you disappear, the world would be affected as well.
Rafe
Rafe
The world itself, in its subtle way, would miss you.
Rafe
Rafe
And do you really think no one would mourn you?
Tobias
Tobias
oh
Tobias
Tobias
Liberty.
Rafe
Rafe
Liberty.
Rafe
Rafe
Your freedom.
Rafe
Rafe
Your salvation.
Rafe
Rafe
Struggle to live, Tobias.
Rafe
Rafe
That's all you can do.
Rafe
Rafe
That's all everyone can ever do, from the moment they wake up.
...
7:55 AM
...
Searching...
Searching...
Searching...
At user "Tobias": The chat log you are looking for does not exist.
...
Searching...
Searching...
Searching...
At user "Tobias": The user "Rafe" does not exist in your contacts or your history.
...
8:01 AM
Tobias has deleted 8 messages
Tobias
Tobias
hey
Tobias
Tobias
wake up sleepyhead
Tobias
Tobias
see you at school
Liberty
Liberty
oof dude
Liberty
Liberty
your texts actually woke me up lmao
Liberty
Liberty
see you at school!
Tobias
Tobias
yeah
Tobias
Tobias
and
Tobias
Tobias
i need to tell you something
Tobias
Tobias
i might need some advice from you
Tobias
Tobias
can we talk then?
Liberty
Liberty
yeah totally
Liberty
Liberty
everything ok?
Tobias
Tobias
not right now
Tobias
Tobias
there's a situation that i want to deal with, but i don't know how
Tobias
Tobias
that's why i need advice on what to do
Liberty
Liberty
oh
Tobias
Tobias
but i hope it will be, soon
Tobias
Tobias
ok, i mean
Tobias
Tobias
so i'll see you at school
Liberty
Liberty
tobias
Tobias
Tobias
yes?
Liberty
Liberty
i
Liberty
Liberty
i just feel glad youre opening up to me
Liberty
Liberty
i was really worried the past few weeks
Tobias
Tobias
i'm sorry
Liberty
Liberty
no dont be
Liberty
Liberty
im just glad youre working on it now
Liberty
Liberty
ill do my best to help in any way i can
Liberty
Liberty
ill see you at school, tobi?
Tobias
Tobias
i'll see you at school, freedom
Liberty
Liberty
freedom??
Liberty
Liberty
OH lol
Liberty
Liberty
thats a funny pun
Tobias
Tobias
someone told me you were my salvation
Tobias
Tobias
they might be right
Liberty
Liberty
psssssshhhhh youre making me blush dude
Liberty
Liberty
now shoo i gotta brush my teeth
Tobias
Tobias
see you later, Liberty
...
8:30 AM
Joe
Joe
why tf did the announcement tell us two to go to the principal's office
Your number has been blocked by this user.
Joe
Joe
the hell?
Joe
Joe
did you snitch?
Your number has been blocked by this user.
Your number has been blocked by this user.
Joe
Joe
answer me
Your number has been blocked by this user.
Joe
Joe
i said answer me!
Your number has been blocked by this user.
...
4:01 PM
Liberty
Liberty
hey sorry i was busy how did it go
Liberty
Liberty
you ok??
Tobias
Tobias
i'm fine
Tobias
Tobias
it went better than i thought it would
Liberty
Liberty
whew i'm glad
Tobias
Tobias
they're still deciding whether or not i should get suspended though
Liberty
Liberty
tobi!!
Liberty
Liberty
why??
Tobias
Tobias
for copying his homework
Liberty
Liberty
that's unfair
Liberty
Liberty
you were bullied to do it
Liberty
Liberty
you even had all those texts as evidence!
Tobias
Tobias
maybe
Tobias
Tobias
but i'm honestly just glad i got it over with
Liberty
Liberty
but still...
Tobias
Tobias
it's ok, really
Tobias
Tobias
well
Tobias
Tobias
i still kind of feel like a mess
Tobias
Tobias
i don't know why
Tobias
Tobias
i definitely feel better than before but
Tobias
Tobias
hmm
Liberty
Liberty
you know what will make that feel better?
Tobias
Tobias
what?
Liberty
Liberty
ice cream
Liberty
Liberty
:D
Tobias
Tobias
of course
Liberty
Liberty
come on you owe me for ditching me last time!
Tobias
Tobias
i do, i suppose
Tobias
Tobias
alright
Liberty
Liberty
YAAAAY
Liberty
Liberty
see you there!
Liberty
Liberty
and tobi?
Tobias
Tobias
yes?
Liberty
Liberty
i'm glad you decided to talk to me about it
Liberty
Liberty
and i'm glad you're here
Tobias
Tobias
it's strange.
Tobias
Tobias
i'm glad too.
...
0:00
Rafe
Rafe
Hello, Joe.
Rafe
Rafe
You are quite the case, aren't you?
Rafe
Rafe
I believe we have much to talk about.






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